Living On Oxygen for Life
I’m not invincible. Though, I like to think I am… *grin* I have weaknesses and I cry. I have bad days that make me feel like I’m dying and I struggle to find the one thing that will show me the goodness of life. A lot of the times it is the memories of fun things I’ve done with my sisters, family or with K. Other times, it is the comments or emails that I receive through this blog or my Facebook page. I take a lot of pictures and turn them into photo books for this reason too.
While in the hospital, earlier this month, my younger sister called me. She was surprised that I was laughing and cheerful and she asked me how I could be that way. I told her that it’s better to laugh about it than to cry. She asked me if I was scared and I said laughing, “Heck yeah I’m scared.”
Even though I have all these medical problems that make me feel bad (a lot!), I don’t want to leave with them a memory of me crying. I’d rather have them think of me as a happy person. Does that make sense to y’all? That doesn’t mean that I never break down and cry. There is only so much stress, bad news, pain, and struggling to breathe I can handle.
It’s ok to cry. It doesn’t mean that you feel sorry for yourself as long as you don’t wallow in it. To me, it’s like a reset button or a relief valve on the mounting stress. So, am I always the happy-go-lucky gal you see? No, because life is hard and filled with challenges. Filled with tests of strength. I’m up for the challenge. It’s just sometimes it gets to be too much.
This month has been exceptionally challenging. Thank you all for being there for me. *hugs*