This is how K looks out for me. He’s awesome. I meant to post this last year. I just wanted to show you that there are some really great spouses out there. There are so many things that are just too hard for me to do and that’s when K steps in and takes over. I love this man.
Me: (finally lying in bed with Bipap & oxygen on totally exhausted from working along side K to super clean the house) Thank you so much for your help K.
K: (while mopping the hallway) Is the music too loud?
Me: No. Right now I don’t care about the music or the light being on. I’m exhausted. What you’re doing is so appreciated.
K: (stops mopping) This is what you wanted done.. What you needed, right?
Me: What you’ve done is awesome. You’ve gone above my expectations. Thank you.
I had a GREAT day yesterday. Even I couldn’t believe what all I got accomplished on my own. I made it to the pharmacy and then decided, what the heck, I still have energy… I’ll go grocery shopping all by myself. I did find myself huffing and puffing my way into the store but I grabbed a cart and rolled it the short distance to the produce department while doing a little purse-breathing along the way. (Remember? K has been taking over the grocery shopping for the last 5 or 6 months. It’s been getting harder and harder for me to go along.)
I did a bit of “slow browsing” to give myself enough time to catch my breath and then away I go to shop to my heart’s content. No, I did not buy ice cream. But I did by ingredients to make cookies and maybe even turtle cheesecake. *drool* I even had fun saying hello to people I don’t even know, even the little kids. I had so much fun!!!
I knew I’d be tired when I got home because K wasn’t going to be home yet and I skipped my morning diuretics to get an early start on my day. So I grabbed a roasted chicken for dinner. Won’t K be surprised?!?!
I got home with my groceries and unloaded AND put them away! All. By. Myself!!! *super proud of myself* Next, I started dinner! Whaaaat??? How am I even doing all this??? I just don’t know. All I can say is….K sure was surprised because not only did I accomplished all the stuff I did yesterday, I even made a salad to go with dinner! Whaaaaaat? I think I scored some extra points with the salad. *grin* Who says men don’t like salad? After dinner, my energy was definitely draining. I could only rinse off the dishes but you KNOW I had just enough energy to sit down to crochet for a few hours while we watched some TV together.
It was a happy day yesterday and I hope I have another one again soon. I am paying for all of yesterday’s effort today. I’m tired, tired, tired today and when I told K that I was ready for a nap earlier, he politely reminded me that the Cowboys play at 3pm which is about 25 minutes ago. Argh!!!! haha! So, here I am with my bipap on, in bed, trying to power up for the game.
I’m happy. I hope I don’t mess up whatever I decide to make for my contribution to our family Thanksgiving dinner. It’s supposed to be something chocolate-flavored. That’s where the turtle cheesecake comes into play. *shrug* hehe!
Hello my friends! I’m glad you follow along this adventure with me. Today, I’m going to show you three pictures from my life. That’s right… It’s Random Picture Day! I love Random Picture Day. They’re so fun!
About a year before these pictures, K and I were making plans to go with K’s family to Cozumel. It was all pretty exciting because I loved going to Jamaica for our Honeymoon. But my health started to decline again and I knew I wouldn’t be able to go with K on this trip. I was pretty heartbroken but I didn’t want K to NOT go because I couldn’t go with him. It was a big vacation with his extended and close family going to Cozumel. So, I told him that he should go and that he shouldn’t worry about me. I mean, I have my family who I could call if I needed anything.
I helped him pack and saw him off for this grand adventure without me. I was bummed because this was going to be nearly a week without him in the country. It’s different because I couldn’t just pick up the phone and call him. Remember, this was before cellphones and high-speed internet. No laptop with Skype or an equally easy way to communicate. Can you even remember those days? They seem so long ago.
Before K left, he told me to make sure I’m home everyday in the morning. I didn’t know what he was talking about. But the next morning, I heard the doorbell. I opened the door to a lady holding this:
The next day, the doorbell rings again. I opened the door and the same lady was at the door again handing me this with a BIG smile on her face.
I asked the delivery lady what was going on but she just smiled and shrugged her shoulders. The next day, K was still away in Cozumel, and the doorbell rang again! I’m like, really? Of course, I was totally excited! So I’m stomping down the stairs, grabbing the doorknob and yanking it open to this:
It was the same delivery lady and she was smiling again. I couldn’t believe that among all the hustle and bustle of K getting ready for this vacation that he thought about how I would feel while he was off on an adventure without me. We missed each other and this was a way he could let me know that he was thinking of me even though we couldn’t be together. There was only two other times that K has gone on adventure without me. After that, he told me that it just wasn’t the same to go on a vacation without me there to enjoy it with him. Here I was thinking that I didn’t want to hold him back from the fun he could have if he just went without me. So, did I continue to feel guilty for what I thought as me holding him back? Or did I trust what he said and love him more for the sacrifice?
Overall, he chose to live his life with me whatever that life together may turn out to be. Going through changes in my health has been difficult. It’s had drawbacks but we’ve always found a way to find an adventure together AND apart. Even though we were apart in this story I just told you, it was adventure we took together… connected by flowers.
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I met my future husband when I was 18 years old when we both worked at the same place. He was vibrant and he exuded an energetic sense of life and happiness. I felt drawn to him. He was interesting and he was kind to me which was exactly what I needed at that moment in my life. I had been using oxygen at night for a little over a year and wasn’t allowed to drive because I had problems with blackouts while driving. My parents wouldn’t let me drive for a whole year after I totaled my car when I was a Junior in high school. So, when I finally got a job where my future husband (let’s call him “K” to keep things simple and private) I started to blossom into a new me. A cheery person who was ready to reach out and cling to life with a passion.
When my 19th birthday was just a day away, K asked me if I had plans to celebrate. I was new to the area because I moved from where I went to high school to another state. I told him that I didn’t and he decided he was going to take me out and show me the town because no one should have nothing to do on their birthday. Oh my gosh! I was so very nervous. I even had my sister take me shopping for something nice to wear for this “birthday date.” He picked me up at my mom’s house and off we went. We had no real destination but that was ok with me. I just started talking and talking and talking. Out came the news about my health and everything that I’d been through and my fears of my future. He quietly listened to all of what I had to say. It wasn’t until later that he explained that he liked me because I was honest when I was talking with him.
Over the years, since that conversation and us getting married, there have been some serious challenges. He’s had to cope with the major changes that my health has brought to our lives. It wasn’t just me who had to deal with all those health declines. My husband watched my physical abilities fade over the years and he chose to adjust his life to accommodate my needs. It wasn’t easy for him. I realize that now because what happens to me doesn’t happen only to me. It affects him too. What once was a vibrant young woman that he knew and loved, is now a woman who he assists getting out of the car, who he pushes in a wheelchair and helps with the grocery shopping. But throughout the last 24 years, we’ve filled our time together with as many memories as my health has allowed. So, even though it takes a little extra effort to travel by car almost completely loaded with my medical equipment and suitcases (yes, I’m a woman who needs to coordinate my attire!), arrange my oxygen refills on the road, and longer vacations to allow time for us to go at my pace (slow!), it’s been worth all that we’ve been through together. Sure he sometimes needs to be reminded to walk slower. There are times where he is walking off one way and I’m going the other way not remembering that we are connected by my oxygen because he’s carrying my tank!
It’s been a learning experience for both of us. I just feel so lucky to have found someone who has the patience to stay by my side.