Yes, I was so scared but not for a life or death moment. It was that I was scared that Valentine’s Day would feel like a flop to me because I didn’t know if I would be well. I sometimes play these little internal battles with myself about things that I look forward to. But when the time comes, I tend to sabotage them. I get so worried about what could happen before a possible fun event if I get too tired, that things just fall apart before the event happens. I hope I’m making sense.
If you read yesterday’s post, you’ll know that I had a migraine headache. Those effect my heart rate, breathing and endurance. I didn’t know how I would feel today. When I get worried like that, I will start procrastinating the planning of what I will do to make that day or event great for me and my husband. However, today I surprised even myself. I woke up and immediately got out of bed. Sorry puppy for missing our usual bonding morning ritual. I put it in my mind that I was going to do this thing called Valentine’s Day celebration! First thing first, I texted my husband to ask his ETA on arriving home. Then the first snag occurred. Mother of Pearl!!!!!! (thanks Spongebob! I love that swear!) Oh yes, it is Oxygen Refill day. Time to rearrange my schedule for the day… sigh
I’m thinking to myself, weighing all things and deciding what is priority. Do I really want to go to the movies today or can I hold out for a Saturday showing of “A Good Day to Die”? Strange title for a movie, I know… =o) Anyhoo, I went to the pharmacy and the grocery store because I forgot to buy lemons and while there (I went to Walmart — one stop shopping) I bought MORE yarn! YEA! A girl can never have too much yarn (if she’s uses it, that is!). By the way, I finished my last project: a Lapghan. You can see it in my “Hobbies” section. There’s no home for it yet. I’m still looking for someone who needs a hug. Ok, I’m getting distracted yet again.
I have energy today. I want to make dinner for tonight but K doesn’t know if he will take me out to dinner. He doesn’t know that I am willing to postpone the movie until this weekend. He’s not really into going to the movie in theaters but he knows how much I want to see this movie. After, Walmart, I hot-rolled my extremely thick and long hair which took 2 sets of hot rollers but I think it turned out looking good. Once again, all our plans revolve around the Oxygen refill guy and when he gets here.
Today started out with immediate drama from before I even opened my eyes. I was all snuggly warm in bed and I hear this retching noise beside me. No it’s not my husband because he was already at work. It was the pup. Now, I don’t know how many people can just come fully alert from a deep sleep to keep a pup from hurling in your bed but I did pretty darn well. I’m actually kind of proud of myself. And hey! At least it wasn’t on my side! *big grin*
After that fiasco, I decided to get out of bed. I immediately realized that I have a missed text on my cellphone. It said, “Wait for me to go grocery shopping…” I was like.. “SWEET!” My husband remembered about today’s errand! (What a good man, huh?) When grocery shopping is scheduled, I tend to rest all day until we go. It’s a real energy drainer for me. I decided to find a movie on Netflix to watch but the one I selected was pretty intense. By the end of the movie I was feeling a huge headache and nauseation coming on fast. It was only 12:30pm and I was heading back to bed. Obviously, my body needed to really relax. The only way I can do that is to rest while using my bipap machine which I use with oxygen. Thankfully, by the time my husband got home from work, my headache was mostly gone to the background.
K knows that when I have a headache like that it means that everything I do has to be done much slower. My oxygen saturation will drop fast and my heart rate will increase easily. A migraine affects my whole body and it is a drag. When I need a rest, K will tell me to hop on the end of the grocery cart and he’ll push me up and down the aisles. Just like how everyone did as a kid! It’s great! I am not embarrassed at all to do it either! Who cares that I’m 43 years old and riding on the end of the cart. At least I’m out of the house and being mobile. Am I right, or what???
My husband once told a doctor that how I approach not being able to do certain things I was able to do before is to find another way to do it. If something makes me really, really tired by doing it, I will find some other way to do it. Here’s a simple example: I have really long hair (down to my waist) and it’s very tiring to wash it. So, I bend over at the waist in the shower and scrub my hair instead of having to keep my arms lifted up to my head the whole time. Since I have scoliosis, it’s hard to keep my left arm up reaching my head anyway. If a chore is too taxing for me to do it all at once, I will break up in steps. Vacuuming and cleaning a bathroom tub are the hardest for me. I’ll vacuum one room and then sit down for a bit and then do another room. I may not even be able to complete all the carpeted rooms in my house in one day. I just do what I can do and be happy with that. My next biggest project will be to organize my craft room.