This was a bad moment at the doctor’s office today. The doctor recently started having an oxygen tank at her office because I told her it would be a good idea. You know, just in case. Well, today was that just in case moment when my tubing snapped off as K was switching my tanks. We were all panicking until K remembered the recently acquired office oxygen tank (with cannula!) kept tucked away for emergencies. I had to hold my broken tubing onto my second full tank to try and get enough oxygen until they found another cannula. Thankfully, K moves fast and keeps a level head in a crisis. All I was in charge of was concentrating on breathing calmly until rescued. We have spare tubing in my van but that was in the parking lot 7 floors below. It would’ve taken too long to get it.
Life has a funky way of reminding me how fragile my body is but I can’t live in fear and never go anywhere. Lately, I’ve become a homebody because my breathing has gotten worse. I have to get myself out of the house more and I’m going I’m going to accept this challenge head on. Well, as soon as K fills my gas tank. I’ve decided that’s a “man’s job.” Honestly, I can’t handle the gas fumes. So, I have K fill my van for me.
What about you? Have you had some oxygen emergencies? Share your story in the comment section. Love y’all!
A tragic accident happened yesterday. *sniff* *gulp* I was hot-footing after K in Lowe’s last night, reminding him to please slow down. You see, even after all this time together with each other, he will sometimes forget that I’m slower than he is. “What?!?” You ask. I know, I know. I’m stunned by that revelation myself but it’s true.
K “needed” more garden supplies. I swear for a man who originally didn’t want a yard when we were house shopping years ago, he sure has taken up gardening as if it’s a lifeline. Honestly, it can be and has been. Even though it’s a lot of work, there’s a lot of joy and even a bit of escapism to it. He’s made our yard it our little project that is never finished and that’s ok because we love every change we bring to it each year.
Now, back to Lowe’s. Right. Where was I? Ok I remember. “Slow down,” and he turns around to look back at me while turning the cart filled with bags of dirt. “K, I’m not made for this speed anymore.” I smiled at him and that’s when my life goes into slow motion. I see K about to say something and then I caught something flying out of the corner of my eye.
Have you ever experienced something happening that you knew wasn’t right but you weren’t in the position to stop it from happening? Well, that was K and I. I was too far away and K was still looking at me when the dirt shifted in the cart that he was still pushing around a corner. There wasn’t a darn thing we could do. My portable liquid oxygen tank got squeezed out of the cart’s seat and flew out and smacked the concrete floor. The plastic casing came wide open and top was tilted out way wrong. Oh crude buckets! I gently picked it up, trying to squeeze it back together, when my mind was wondering if these things blowup. Apparently not this time. However, K’s first thought was, “Is it still flowing oxygen?” Isn’t he so sweet???
Miraculously, the darn thing was still working but I asked him what her would do if it didn’t. He said, “We’d figure it out. We always do.” What a guy, right? It wasn’t until we got back to home that we tossed around some ideas of what to do in that scenario. It’s always good to have a plan in place for such things because I can not be without oxygen for very long before I start to suffer badly and that’s if I’m just sitting somewhere without talking or moving to conserve my body’s oxygen supply.
When we got home we discussed what we could have done if my portable had stopped working. I’m a little nervous to tell my oxygen provider that my portable is broken. But hey, these things happen, right? A lesson has been learned here for us. We will never forget to strap in my portable tank using the child safety belt in the shopping cart. I mean, we took the time to connect it through my purse strap but didn’t do it this time for my portable.
I AM SO EXCITED!!! K built me a second raised garden bed so that I can plant even MORE vegetables this year. He knows that my energy is waning but he is wanting me to keep active so that my lung function stays stable. Plus, staying active makes me happy even though it takes a lot more energy. So, this year, K has committed to helping me with my garden whereas, last year, he told me it would be my responsibility to take care of it.
Here’s some of my gardens:
I planted 8 seed potatoes this year.
Carrots, Broccoli, & Herb garden.
I know what he’s doing and I appreciate it very much. He’s getting more involved in hopes that I will be encouraged to keep moving which has declined over the last 6 months. In fact, we even went out clothes shopping for me last week. I normally hate shopping but I hadn’t had any substantial new clothes in years. I’m someone who will wear what I own for years before I become willing to shop for new stuff. Shopping makes me tired and again, K was so instrumental in helping me make shopping for clothes really fun. He helped me pick out clothes (because he’s SO good at! haha!), came in the dressing room and helped me get clothes on and off if I needed it, went out for exchanges for different sizes, told me to rest when he saw I was getting tired, AND told me, as I was showing off each piece of clothing, how much he liked it or asked me if I liked it or will I be comfortable in it. You see, I have scoliosis and clothes don’t always fit right. It can discourage me a lot when I go out clothes shopping. So having K there in the dressing room giving his opinion was SO helpful. He’s never gone into the dressing room with me before. So, yeah, he’s noticing and really trying to make a difference in my life and our happiness.
Today, I have February’s Need a Hug afghan being mailed out to a sweet lady, Linda. I’m still working on March’s afghan. It’s about half done. I hope I can finish it by the end of this month. I hope everyone is doing well. Much love to you all! *HUGS*
P.S. I just told K that I need a new Rubber Chicken. *sniff* Klondike’s (my current chicken) finally broke his neck *cringe*. It’s so sad because he’s been on some amazing adventures! When I get a new one, I will need help with naming him (or her). I’ve never had a girl rubber chicken before! Yes, I know I’m a bit strange about these chickens but they are our Road Trip Mascots. They go on our vacations with us for good luck. *sigh* So far, over the last 29 years, we’ve had Poke, Poke Jr., Mr. Chicken, & Klondike as our mascots. It really is a fun thing to do. haha! Like I’ve always said, finding something fun to distract me from my health, no matter how silly it can seem, is how I deal with life.
This morning was all planned. I was going to wake up “casually early,” meaning around 9:30am instead of 10 or 11am and head off to get my labwork done for the month. You see, I still have to get monthly lab work to check my liver function because I take a Pulmonary Hypertension medication called Tracleer. However, for the past week, K has been off work due to cataract surgery in one of his eyes. He can’t lift anything over 20lbs for a week. Therefore, he can’t safely perform his job. He’s about to have his other eye worked on in a few days.
Anyway, he’s been home and sees that I’m nearly awake when he recalls a VERY important factor about this month’s lab work changes that we were told by my PH doctor earlier this month. She wants me to have my cortisol level checked. I forgot all about that which is why it’s vital that betwixt the two of us, it’s handy that K has a memory like an elephant. Believe you me. I do not have a memory worth much at all. Even if I write things down, I’ll forget about it and then forget where I put my note once I actually remember that I wrote it down.
So, I was scrambling out of bed, hot footing into the bathroom grabbing any color-coordinated clothing to wear on the way to take a speedy shower. K said I was suppose to go early in the morning. I’m freaking out because I didn’t want to delay my liver labs. I was running low of Tracleer and I can’t get those pills refilled until the liver lab results come back to the doctor. Thankfully, they usually get them the next day. But, I didn’t know how early I was suppose to show up for a cortisol lab. The doctor only said early AM which to me, that could be any various time in the morning. By the time I was out of the shower, dressed & ready go… K suggested that I call the lab first to get their interpretation of early AM for this new test. It was already 10:30am quickly approaching 11am (which happens to be my “I’m officially awake time. Let the day begin.”
So, I pick up the phone and call. I’m so glad I did. Before 9am, they said for cortisol labs. I hung up with a polite, “Thank you!” and then cringed. This is going to be hard. I’m going to have to drag myself out of the house early! It’s not even going to be for a doctor appointment…THAT, I would understand. But just for labs. Ugh! haha! I’m going to have to think of a good reward for tomorrow morning. Any suggestions?
I know I’ve seemed absent lately on my blog. I do respond to email, Facebook posts, comments of my blog here. I’m not gone at all. In between all of this, I am crocheting the Need a Hug afghans, which I have one to send out. Plus, K finished my second raised garden bed that I planted 8 seed potatoes in (so excited!) which leaves me with my other 2’x6′ bed & my 3’x4′ bed to plant vegetables in. I did plant 2 tomato plants already. As soon I finish planting my seeds, K will help me cover them with netting. The netting really helped last year to keep bugs (and stray cats) away.
I truly hope y’all are doing well. Let me know how you are doing. *Huge Hugs* to all of my readers & visitors.
This is how K looks out for me. He’s awesome. I meant to post this last year. I just wanted to show you that there are some really great spouses out there. There are so many things that are just too hard for me to do and that’s when K steps in and takes over. I love this man.
Me: (finally lying in bed with Bipap & oxygen on totally exhausted from working along side K to super clean the house) Thank you so much for your help K.
K: (while mopping the hallway) Is the music too loud?
Me: No. Right now I don’t care about the music or the light being on. I’m exhausted. What you’re doing is so appreciated.
K: (stops mopping) This is what you wanted done.. What you needed, right?
Me: What you’ve done is awesome. You’ve gone above my expectations. Thank you.
Keep in mind as you read this blog post that K and I are very experienced with traveling while loaded down with multi reservoirs of liquid oxygen. We are safe drivers and we take precautions before we head out on the road for vacation to ensure that our vehicle is in what we call, “Vacation Ready” mode. That means we take it to our favorite auto repair mechanic and ask them to look at our vehicle and make sure it’s ready for a road trip. We ask them to take a good look at the tires, brakes, belts, and to change the oil. They fix anything that needs to be fixed because we don’t want to be miles away from home and have car trouble. Thankfully, we have AAA (triple A roadside service) Membership.
Everything we need for vacation, including medical supples.
When we plan a vacation, there are a lot of factors that go into the planning. The very most important factor is the location of my DME company in relation to my vacation destination. We also take into consideration whether there are any Lincare’s along the way. For the ones along our route to and from our destination, we could possibly set up a refill for my liquid oxygen reservoirs by asking my local Lincare office to set it up. The Lincare that I stop at for refills have to have the capability to fill liquid reservoirs. Some Lincare companies no longer do liquid oxygen.
This year we decided to find a beach that we’ve never been to before. We love the beach and for the past few vacations, we’ve only tried to rent beach house one other time. The only thing with this house that we rented on the beach was that it was on stilts. We didn’t realize the stairs to the house would be so darn steep. When we finally got the keys and drove the short distance from the office to our rental house, we pulled in and saw the stairs. We brought with us 2 – 100 pound reservoirs of liquid oxygen that weigh about 165 pounds full (but feel like you’re lifting a ton!). It took both of us, with K doing the lifting. I was standing behind him supporting his back with one of my hands pressed hard against him making sure he didn’t fall backwards. By the time we got that tank and the 75 pound reservoir up the stairs and into the house, we decided that the other 100 pound reservoir could stay in the vehichle since it was parked in the shade under the house. We were both sweaty and hot after that. It was so humid.
We planned an extended vacation this year. My health has been declining. So, we both knew that I would need extra days when we arrived in Alabama and even in-between to adjust to the heat and humidity. It took me 2 days resting off and on before I could get outside and start having fun. K was super kind about not pressuring me to do anything that I didn’t feel like I could do. I arrived at the beach house with a migraine headache because the drive was stressful for me. The first day we drove we stayed overnight at a hotel. We came out the next morning and found one of our tires was flat from a piece of wood embedded into the side wall of the tire. Luckily, K had a tire air compressor in the back of the van and he aired it up enough to take it to a tire shop where he bought a new tire.
The second day we drove, K stopped to fill the van with gas, it was my turn to drive this time. For some reason, as I was sitting there waiting for K to come back from the bathroom, the fuel light went on but the fuel gauge stayed at full. I don’t know what made me do it but I actually pushed the tripmeter to zero it out. At least I would know how many miles I’ve gone with the gas that I have in the tank. Anyway, the fuel gauge scared me by dropping all the way to EMPTY while K was a sleep. Ten minutes later, the fuel gauge would start raising back up to full and the light would go off. That was creepy scary. I let K drive after that. Apparently, there’s a wiring problem. Ugh!
After I was ready to get out of the beach house, I hit the beach! Even from the wrap around porch of our beach house on one day, we could see a few dolphins swimming off the coast!
It’s easy taking my oxygen to the beach. K had set up a tent with two beach chairs beneath it for me to relax and watch K wade into the water. When I wanted time in the water, K would either carry my portable on his shoulder and hold my hand as we walked into the waves OR he would have me connect my 50ft tubing to my portable and clip my portable to one of the beach chairs that he’d move closer to the shore. I’d bury the feet of the chair in the sand to give it more stability. I’d just need to sit my tank right in the seat with strap clipped to the top of the chair. Perfect! I could walk up to 50ft into the water or just sit on each of the tide.
Dolphins along the coast of Gulf Shores, AL
This is how I sit at the beach under a tent on low beach chairs.
Rocco would sit with me while I crocheted on vacation.
We went out to celebrate my 47th birthday and our 24th Anniversary!
We really had a good time on vacation. We didn’t want to come home so soon even though we spent 10 days in the beach house. I think next time we are going to try to stay longer. It all depends on how well my health holds up. *fingers crossed* YAY!
Over the past 10 years or so, this beast inside me has grown and mirrored the decline of my health. It all started with what I thought was constant worrying. You know… when you have to time how much your oxygen will last? Well, that can make you worry about checking your oxygen tank a LOT when you are out having fun. Then I would worry about how long my energy will last while I was out having fun. Can I walk that far in the mall or in the hospital for doctor appointments? Will K get upset if I need to stop to sit down for a few minutes. I know the last one is kind of an irrational worry. Of course K wouldn’t get upset but he did try to push me to walk a little further before stopping which only made me feel like he wasn’t taking my need to stop seriously. My health wasn’t as progressed as it is now. So, pushing me a little bit further was a good thing that K was doing. It’s just when I was tired and felt like I needed a break, no knows how I felt except me.
I turned all this worrying about so many things in my life into trying to control everything around me. I felt like I needed to manage everything so that I had enough energy for things that I had to do around the house and the things that I wanted to do with K. I wanted to know where we were going when we were out of the house, what route we were going, and even how K drove. I needed advanced warning when K wanted us to go out to have fun so that I can be sure to rest up during the day. But all that wasn’t working. Trying to control everything turned into Anxiety because there is no way that I could control everything, be happy and not irritate those around me.
It’s taking a long time to learn to let go of the control issues. K reminds me by saying that he “Gets it.” and “I will always take care of you. I always have your best interest as my priority.” It has helped me a lot with him saying this to me. I have to remind myself of what he said over and over because my memory doesn’t retain information as well as it use to. So, when I get into my vehicle with K, I will remind myself that he has my six. *wink* Giving up the control and learning to trust is a very hard thing to do for me because I feel as if I’m losing more of my independence. However, as long as we have fun in our lives, all will be ok.